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The First Thing You Must Do in Bed

Generosity for the win: Focusing on what she craves in the sack also increases your arousal, says research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

Researchers studied “sexual communal strength”—the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs—in long-term couples. Both parties filled out daily sex surveys for 3 weeks. Four months later, generous lovers  reported higher levels of daily arousal AND more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.

Try these tips to unleash your power where it matters the most—in bed! Check out The Men's Health Big Book of Sex.

"There's a lot of research out there that suggests giving to others is good for the self," says lead study author Amy Muise, Ph.D., of the University of Toronto, and that effect is even stronger with a romantic partner. Plus, Muise says, knowing you can satisfy your partner's needs is a major confidence booster.

But zeroing in on her desires at the exclusion of your own won't deliver the same outcome, says Muise. The solution: Aim for compromise. If you usually perform oral sex on her because she loves to incorporate it into foreplay, see if she's up for something you want, like shower sex or a morning quickie before work. That way you'll both feel accounted for, Muise says.

Source : menshealth

5 way's to get a better night's sleep





















In a perfect world we'd all share a blissful night's sleep with our significant other. But between your tossing and turning and his snoring, the struggle is real -- leading about 25 percent of couples to sleep in separate rooms.

While this can be an effective solution, you also run the risk of decreased intimacy, says Michael Breus, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and sleep specialist. Don't lose any more sleep over it though with these five solutions to common blockers for getting your much needed zzzs.

1. A chronic snorer. You love him, but it seems like his snoring gets louder and louder as the night progresses. And no matter how much you push and prod, five minutes later he's back at it again. There are many contributing factors that cause a person to snore: congestion, late night drinking, sleeping on your back, or sleep apnea to name a few. Breus suggests diminishing the noise by surrounding your ears with a wall of pillows. "The sound will bounce back in the other direction, reducing the noise enough so you're more likely to drift off," he says.

2. Some like it hot. Others cold. Ah, the room temperature debate. You like to be warm and toasty, but he prefers a cooler temp. What to do? Luckily this is a pretty easy problem to compromise on. Choose a temperature that's in the middle -- that way you can add an extra blanket and he can sleep on the outside of the covers.

3. Different bedtimes. Maybe one of you likes to stay up late watching SNL, while the other hits the pillows at a more reasonable hour. Breus suggests making a deal that the later-to-bed partner is extra quiet and doesn't do anything to wake the other (read: headphones are a must) and the early riser reciprocates. This means no hitting the snooze button for the next 30 minutes.

4. You're a cuddler, he's not. It's completely normal for partners to have different sleep styles and just because you like your space, he should know that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed or that you have intimacy issues. A good compromise: "Agree to cuddle until the snuggler drifts off, at which point the other person can retreat to their side of the bed and sleep solo for the rest of the night," says Janet Kennedy, PhD, clinical psychologist and sleep specialist in New York City.

5. The blanket hog. There's nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night, freezing cold only to realize that all of the blanket is around your partner. A good option is to have two sets of covers -- one blanket for you and another for your significant other. Because no one can take two covers, right?


By Ravelle Worthington

How to boost testosterone


Find out how to boost your levels of testosterone to build muscle, burn fat, improve endurance and increase sex drive

Testosterone is the hormone every man wants, so it's no surprise that we get a lot of questions from readers asking how to boost their levels. It’s vital for building muscle, healthy levels help you burn off body fat and a timely surge of ‘T’ can spike your libido for increased sexual satisfaction. But levels tend to decline after you’re 30, with symptoms ranging from fatigue and depression to loss of sex drive and erectile dysfunction. Nothing good, basically.
You don’t need to turn to the black market for vials of man-mojo, though – instead, you can start by taking a good look at your diet. ‘Food plays a big part in hormonal dysfunction,’ says rehabilitation therapist Claud Serjeant (movethreesixty.com). ‘Eating the wrong things can increase oestrogen and decrease testosterone.’
So what should you be eating and drinking? ‘Full-fat milk is a good one,’ Serjeant says. ‘The nutrients in milk help raise testosterone and many of them are fat-soluble, so full-fat is much better than skimmed. And it’s far preferable to soya milk, which has been shown to raise oestrogen. Other foods to eat include wild-caught salmon, which is particularly rich in T-boosting omega 3, and leafy vegetables high in zinc, such as chard and spinach. Avoid processed meats and fizzy drinks, which contain ingredients that cause testosterone to fall.
Here are 15 more ways you can boost your testosterone levels.

1 Lift weights

Testosterone levels are at their highest 48 hours after lifting weights according to a study at Baylor University in the US. And the harder you train, the more you increase your natural levels of testosterone, so base your training around compound exercises such as squats, bench presses and seated rows using heavy weights.

2 Watch football

Men who watch their favourite sports team compete experience a similar testosterone surge to the players, say researchers at the University of Utah. They found that a fan’s testosterone levels increased by 20% when his team won but fell 20% when they lost. So avoid watching England games and you should be fine.

3 Eat good fats

By ‘good’ fats we mean the monounsaturated and omega 3 type – found in avocados, peanuts and oily fish – that help your body preserve protein. A study in the Journal Of Applied Physiology found that men who ate recommended amounts of these foods had the highest testosterone levels.

4 Gobble some eggs

Eggs improve levels of healthy HDL or ‘good’ cholesterol, an important building block needed for your body to manufacture testosterone. They are also loaded with protein and have plenty of testosterone-boosting zinc. Plus Paul Newman looked pretty manly when he ate 50 of ’em in Cool Hand Luke.

5 Don’t overtrain

Excessive exercising increases cortisol, a stress hormone that competes with testosterone and breaks down muscle. Researchers at the University of North Carolina found that overtraining can lower your testosterone levels by as much as 40%. Resting isn’t slacking off – make sure you take time out.

6 Get enough sleep

Poor sleep quality and having less than seven hours a night can slash your testosterone levels by more than 30% and dampen growth hormones, restricting your muscle-building potential.

7 Scoff cabbage

Cabbage is rammed with indole-3-carbinol (IC3), a phytochemical that increases your testosterone according to a study at the Rockefeller University Hospital in New York. The study also found that when men were given IC3, their levels of the female hormone oestrogen reduced by 50 per cent – roughly the amount that would accumulate if you're 'forced' watch the Sex And The City movie.

8 Don’t booze

Happy hour can wreak havoc on your manly hormones. Numerous studies have found that alcohol consumption reduces testosterone levels for up to 24 hours. It also increases cortisol and lowers growth hormone levels.

9 Eat more seeds

You may feel like you’re munching bird food, but seeds are full of vitamin E and zinc, which send your testosterone levels soaring. They’re also bursting with protein and monounsaturated fat.

10 Get some sun

Exposing the skin to sunlight for just 15-20 minutes can raise your testosterone levels by 120%, says a report from Boston State Hospital in the US. The research also found that the hormone increased by a whopping 200% when genital skin was exposed to the sun. Stick to the privacy of your own garden though – we don’t want any arrests.

11 Don't run marathons

Does running marathons make you more manly? Certainly not if judge that by your testosterone levels after the race. Researchers at the Universidade Federal de Sao Paulo monitored the levels of 20 healthy men from the age of 25 to 42 before and after a marathon and discovered that their testosterone levels dropped by half after running the 42km. OK, so it turns out the drop is only temporary, with the subjects' levels returning to almost normal after a day, but you're certainly less manly straight after a long distance race – even if you do feel damn proud of yourself of getting through it.

12 HIIT it

So how should you train, given that steady state plodding pounds the manliness right out of you? Go hard, go fast, according to a study in the Journal of Endocrinal Investigation. They got 15 endurance trained men to do two different workout sessions – a 45min high-intensity one consisting of 90sec running at 100-110% of their VO2max with 90sec recovery at 40% of their VO2max. On another day they did a 45min run at 60-65% VO2max with the results showing higher testosterone levels after the first session. So use your lunch hour wisely if you want up your T – forget the jog around the park and hit the gym hard for some tough but effective tabata rows.

13 Avoid sugar

Testosterone is temporarily reduced when your blood sugar levels spike, which happens when you consume fast-acting carbs. One study found that men suffered a 25% decrease in testosterone after ingesting a sugary drink, for example. Levels remained low for two hours and nearly 80% of the men had levels so low as to be classified clinically deficient. If your blood sugar is elevated over and over again, your entire hormonal cascade will be thrown off and you’ll soon find you suffer from chronically low testosterone.
Focus on high-quality protein, healthy fats and low-glycaemic carbohydrates such as vegetables.

14 Take zinc

The relationship between zinc, testosterone and reproductive health is well known. One study found that young men with normal testosterone status who avoided zinc in their diets for five months experienced a drop in total testosterone of more than 50%. Maintaining adequate zinc levels allows for a more robust release of testosterone and the related anabolic hormones, growth hormone and insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1).
You can get zinc from red meat, but phytates in vegetables and grains prevent their zinc content from being absorbed. If you’re worried you have low levels, get a red blood cell zinc test (ask your GP). Don’t take zinc supplements frequently unless you’re chronically low in the mineral, because too much can be toxic.

15 Take magnesium

Magnesium improves the body’s antioxidant capacity and reduces inflammation, which allows for a robust release of testosterone and IGF-1. A recent study found that giving taekwondo athletes 750mg magnesium daily for four weeks raised their testosterone levels by 26% and by 18% after a shuttle running test. It's found in nuts. You can also take 500mg a day in a high-quality supplement to support hormone levels and athletic performance. Moderate doses of supplements don’t pose a health risk.

5 surprising facts about testosterone

  • Testosterone can shrink your belly
Men who have testosterone levels below the norm may be able to lose their excess belly flab if they are treated with testosterone. ‘Most of the studies show there's a reduction of abdominal obesity in men who are given testosterone,’ says Adrian Dobs, MD, a professor of medicine and oncology at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore. However, due to the long-term effects of testosterone therapy not being that well studied, this is generally only recommended in men who have below-normal testosterone levels and dehabilitating symptoms that include fatigue, sexual dysfunction or the loss of bone/muscle mass.
  • Too much testosterone can shrivel your testicles
This is by far the most worrying of our surprising testosterone facts, in fact, it couldn’t get much worse! Men who consume steroid hormones such as testosterone as a form of performance booster can experience ball shrinkage and breast growth. Yes, breasts. It can also cause aggression, mood swings and acne. Don’t worry too much though as men working with an experienced doctor in order to treat low testosterone levels are unlikely to overdose under medical supervision.
  • Fat tends to lower testosterone
Clinically obese men tend to have far lower testosterone than slimmer guys. ‘It's not clear why this is the case, although one possible reason is that obesity promotes a state of widespread inflammation in the body,’ says Dobs. ‘Fat cells promote inflamation and it's these inflammatory factors that are associated with suppression of testosterone synthesis.’
  • It’s hard to measure testosterone levels accurately
A lot of men find they are diagnosed with low testosterone levels after just one single test. This is a big problem according to Neil Goodman, MD, an endocrinologist and professor of medicine at the University of Miami School of Medicine. ‘If I take blood from a guy and I send it to three labs, I'm going to get three different levels,’ says Goodman. ‘Efforts are underway to standardise blood tests. In the meantime, testosterone should be checked more than once and done in the morning when testosterone is highest.’
  • Low levels of testosterone are linked to sleep apnea 
Men who suffer from sleep apnea are far more likely to have lower levels of testosterone, and treating sleep apnea is a way to ensure that levels return to normal.
But if a man suffering from sleep apnea is diagnosed with low testosterone alone, taking the hormone as a supplement can often worsen sleep apnea. That's why, according to Dr. Goodman, it's crucial for men with low testosterone to get checked out by an endocrinologist so any underlying conditions that can cause low testosterone, such as sleep apnea or pituitary-gland tumors, don't go undiagnosed.
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Meditation Helps Fix These 5 Health Problems

Photograph By Thinkstock
To the 67 percent of people who would rather get electrified than meditate, here's some shocking news for you: Meditation may be a powerful treatment for what ails you. Check out these five health and wellness problems and learn how meditation can serve as medication. Then decide for yourself: Shock or meditation?

#1. Pain
In a great ironic twist, meditation might actually make that electric shock hurt less, according to a study published in the Journal of Pain. Participants were given electrical stimulation and had to rate the pain from low to high. The researchers found that participants were less sensitive to the pain after being prepped with one 20-minute daily meditation for three consecutive days. In fact, a follow-up study reported that meditation reduced pain by 57 percent.

These findings may have implications for sufferers of diseases that cause chronic pain as a supplementary or alternative therapy. This is especially important considering that prescription painkillers can be dangerously addicting. (And even over-the-counter drugs painkillers pose surprising health threats.)

#2. Stress
Meditation's tie to stress reduction isn't new, but research is finding you may need less mediation than you think to reap the benefits. One 25-minute session of meditating for three days helped people feel less stressed than those who hadn't cleared their minds with a meditation, according to a study published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology. The researchers also measured dispositional mindfulness, natural personality traits that resemble mindful thinking. "We found that participants low in mindfulness (either not receiving mindfulness meditation training or participants who are low in dispositional mindfulness) had the greatest psychological stress reactivity," reported the study authors.

#3. HIV Symptoms
As science continues to progress with new drug therapies that make HIV more manageable than ever before, mindfulness is also emerging as a powerful tool to help manage the ailment. A study of 173 HIV-positive patients not yet on antiretroviral therapy revealed that an eight-week mindfulness program improved self-reported symptoms. The research also indicated preliminary findings suggesting that meditation could improve CD4+ T-lymphocyte count, though the data was less conclusive. "CD4+ T Lymphocyte Count is a hallmark measure reflecting the status of immune competence and provides an indicator of disease progression from HIV to Aids," explain the study authors.

#4. Depression Relapse
Mindfulness is also a great ray of sunshine that can clear away the dark clouds brought on by depression. A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy reduced relapse from 78 percent to 36 percent. Notably, this group had already had three or more previous episodes, so this reduced relapse marks a true sigh of relief for people more prone to relapse.

#5. Inflammation
While inflammation is the body's natural reaction to stress and disease, if prolonged it can lead to disastrous results. Meditation could be the drug-free key to lowering this dangerous inflammation, according to research published in the journal Brain, Behavior, and Immunity. The researchers found that regular meditation lowered blood markers of inflammation by 1 milligram per milliliter of blood. Plus, the researchers found that the mediation techniques taught were more likely to be maintained after a year than other lifestyle changes.

Want to give meditation a whirl? Try this simple introductory meditation to get started.

5 Things You Should Avoid Doing if You Want to Be Happy


Change Your Habits for a Healthier, Happier Life

Every day we get a ton of information on health, fitness, and diet, but sometimes it’s a good idea to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Sometimes it’s important to ask yourself what the point of it all is…

I think you’ll agree with me that the point is actually pretty simple, we all want to be happier. Whether your goal is to lose weight, build muscle, start eating healthier, or just increase your energy, it all comes down to living a healthier and happier life.

Today we’re going to help you get a little closer to that point, and take a look at a few things you should absolutely avoid doing if you want to be happy. This is put together after reviewing a ton of cutting edge research on happiness so that we can get a practical insight into how to get it right.

5 Things You Should Stop Doing Today
Staying in the Gym

A gym is often the most convenient place to work out, because everything you need is within reach. But keeping all of your physical activity inside isn’t always the best idea. Getting outside at least once every week and enjoying nature is one of the easiest ways to boost your happiness and even your sense of well-being. Studies have shown that even indoor spaces with plants and natural elements are more likely to reduce your feelings of stress. So whether it’s going for a run, a walk, or a bike ride, try to spend more time outdoors.

Looking for a good little workout you can do outdoors? Try my No Equipment Cardio Workout. It offers a full-body approach to muscle toning and weight loss.
Watching Too Much TV

I’m going to be honest, this is hard one for me to avoid sometimes. But TV binging isn’t going to give your happiness a boost, especially if you’re doing it all the time. Physical activity and exercise (of any kind) are some of the best ways to stay happy, but sitting around all day will do just the opposite. One of the major reasons for this is the endorphins that are released during exercise and that have a direct impact on your mood. Plus, exercise helps you deal with stress better and it boosts your immune system.

A recent study from the Harvard School of Public Health actually showed a link between binge watching and health. Researchers found that the people who watched TV more often were also the more likely to battle obesity at some point in their lives and unfortunately one of the tragic results is having to deal with diseases like diabetes.  Here’s a rule: for every two hours you watch TV you should do at least 10-20 situps or jumping jacks. You can make this challenge whatever you want but just make one commitment.

Focusing on the Negative

This one has a lot more to do with what’s going on in your head, but it can be a serious happiness-killer. Negative thoughts have a way of making everything else worse. In fact, they’re one of the biggest reasons people do unhealthy things, from skipping the gym to binge eating fast food and just feeling down about life. So what can you do? Try to think one positive though each day, and focus in on gratitude and forgiveness. Research in the last few years has shown that thinking positive can go have a tremendous impact on your overall happiness level.

Doing It On Your Own

You can’t do everything on your own, and realizing this is a sure path to happiness. This doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship to find happiness, but you do need to surround yourself with supportive people. And the research is pretty clear on this. Social support is one of the most important factors in your overall happiness and well-being. Those with more emotional support in their lives also seem to live longer, so it’s a factor in your health too.  Join a jogging club or a group that focuses in on one of your hobbies you keep pushing aside, an hour a week is all it takes.

Having Unrealistic Expectations

I’m going to end with this one, because it’s an important consideration when it comes to any kind of health and fitness goal you set. Having unrealistic expectations is pretty much a sure-fire way to be disappointed in life. This is why I’m so critical of workout routines and diet plans that are too extreme—they’re more likely to result in failure and some serious feelings of unhappiness.

I’m going to make it super easy for you who want to make sure you are setting realistic health goals: for those looking for an easy approach to healthy eating, try my Common Sense Diet Plan, and for those looking for a manageable workout routine, check out this 12 Week Workout Program.


To solidify your commitment to these happiness success factors make sure to share it with your friends and family on Facebook/Pinterest/Twitter. As always would also love to hear your feedback in the comments section below…

source: weightlossandtraining

How To Make A Raised Planter Stand

This easy and inexpensive raised planter stand is a great solution for a variety of garden issues.

It’s a great option for keeping your garden organized, and if you don’t want to plant directly on the ground so as to keep critters away from your produce. It’s easier on your back when watering or tending your plants. This design also allows you to attach trellising.
Building one won’t break the bank as the stand can be made of repurposed timber from your previous woodworking projects. The planter is made from repurposed drums which are inexpensive and can be found locally.

What would you be planting on your own raised planter stand?

If you have other ideas on how this can be improved, let us know in the comments section.

Materials:

(3) 55 gallon juice drum
2×4 pressure treated lumber

Tools: 
  • Hand Saw
  • Measuring Tape
  • Clamps
  • Straight Edge (square)
  • Wood Glue
  • Hammer
  • Chisel
  • Screws
  • Power Drill/Driver
Instructions:

Build The Assemblies
You’ll need four assemblies for three drums. Begin by building the four support assemblies that will connect the 2×4 stringers. For simplicity, make them identical and symmetrical.

The legs are made from 4×6 pressure treated (PT) lumber, with the height of 26-1/4″. The cross members connecting each leg are made from 2×4 PT and are joined together using dadoes cut.


Cut cross members to 31″ then apply adhesive and attach screws in points connecting the members. 


Connect The Assemblies 
After building the assemblies we are now to connect them together. Stake one of the four assemblies to the ground to prevent it from moving. Then measure the exact location where the next assembly should be attached. Stake the second assembly in the location determined earlier. You can then lay a 2×4 on top of the legs and fasten them using screw. After that side is done proceed to the other side. Attach a 2×4 on the assemblies’ cross member and screw into place. 


Attach Spacers 
Using screws attach 2×4’s with the length of 2′ to the inner side of the 2×4’s connecting the legs of assemblies. These will serve as spacers giving the drums a snug fit and preventing them from rolling.

Cut And Install Drums 
Carefully draw lines on the drums where the cut will be made. Cut the drum using a circular saw with carbide tipped blade. Once the drums are cut in half, wash them and let dry. Drill holes for drainage. Lastly install the drums and fill with soil. You can use the 2x4s that connects the legs of the assemblies to add a trellis.




Thanks to RushFan for the original idea!
Source :  theownerbuildernetwork

10 Stunning Bedroom Paint Color Ideas

A bedroom has a special impact on individuals. It is the area of your house where you spend maximum time so picking a color for bedroom is very important.

1- To create an energetic ambiance for your bedroom, paint your bedroom walls with vibrant wall paint colors like hot red, crimson, violet, purple, maroon, emerald blue, emerald green, bright orange and fresh yellow.

2- If you love bright shades, then you can go for classic combos of yellow and orange, red and ivory, gray and yellow ochre, light green and yellow or maroon and gray. But try to use these shades, just for 1-2 walls in order to create a vibrant effect.

3- Keep in mind that the most popular colors for bedroom are pink, blue, green, purple or orange. Likewise the nature theme is one of the most popular themes for bedrooms.

4- To get a lively bedroom, add vibrant furnishings that match paint colors or consider dark shades.

5- To add character to your bedroom, then you should use coffee and cream in your bedroom.

6- Keep in mind that today trendy paint colors are and mustard and taupe, chocolate and powder blue, burgundy and olive green.

7- When it comes to girls’ bedroom, then nothing can beat pink as it is a very soothing color. Consider having different shades of pink for different walls of your bedroom.

8- If you mixed pink with yellow, you will get a beautiful apricot hue.

9- To get an inviting bedroom, mix pink with light blue. This mélange works out very well as pink and light blue are really complementary to each other.

10- If you want muted effect in the bedroom, opt for Neutral colors such as tans, gray shades, gold shades, metallic brown and matte.

In case you liked reading this article, you will surely adore taking a look at the following photos about 10 stunning bedroom paint color ideas.









Pics Via : atheisthussy












 Pics Via : guatacrazynight

8 Simple Rules to Make a Relationship Last


The beginning of a relationship is always exciting. Two people are attracted to each other, begin to discover more about one another, and can see the relationship grow. Everything about a new relationship is novel and thrilling.

Once the relationship has matured however, the difficult work begins. The phase of everything being a new adventure is mostly over and focus switches to making the relationship work. Of course, there are still new and exciting things that happen, it’s just not as common. It’s easy to become complacent with another person and take them for granted past a certain phase.

Building and maintaining a long-term relationship can require some work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Watching the other person grow, starting a family, buying a house, and otherwise sharing your life with someone else is wonderful.
These 8 simple rules will help your relationship last:

1. Create a shared dream for your life 
In the midst of paying bills, cleaning the house, working long hours, and taking care of other responsibilities, it is easy to lose sight of the more important and long-term reasons for being together.

According to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist in New York City: “Successful couples quickly develop a mindfulness of ‘us,’ of being coupled…they have a shared vision, saying things like, ‘We want to plan to buy a house, we want to take a vacation to such-and-such a place, we like to do ‘X’, we thing we want to start a family at ‘Y’ time.’”

The most beneficial time to do this is at the beginning of a marriage, partnership, etc. Doing so sets a solid foundation upon which to build your life together. Another benefit of early and shared planning is that you are much more likely to make that dream a reality.

2. Maintain a physical connection 
In any long-term relationship, physical intimacy (in any form) is far more than just physical. It’s important in maintaining the health of your emotional connection, as well. The physical act of love is something that only you two share and revel in. It’s also important in reigniting the passion and bringing you back together if you drift apart.

As with most elements of a relationship, it is easy to spark this physical connection in the beginning. It’s more difficult with work, finances, kids, home, physical changes, and whatever else makes intimacy more difficult.

Prioritizing intimacy with your partner is a great way to keep the passion flowing. The stresses that come with work, finances, and family will only be a minor roadblock as you continue to re-discover your physical attraction for one another.

3. Keep communication lines open 
We know, we know, you’ve probably already heard that communication is important in a relationship. “Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.”

Maybe… but consider pondering this for just a moment: communication is the common denominator in everything involved in a relationship. It can be at the beginning, middle, or end phases of a relationship. It is involved in everything, big or small – buying a car or home, sharing emotions, wanting kids, forgetting to pay the bill, taking the garbage out…everything involves being able to communicate effectively.

Communication is also a vital element in understanding each other. You may think that you already know your partner, but do you know about their day? Do you know if they’re overwhelmed, feeling sick, unappreciated, or a hundred other things they may be thinking or feeling? Open communication is the only way to maintain equilibrium while further progressing in a relationship.

Good communication is all about being comfortable enough to tell your partner anything – good or bad. Understandably, we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings by being abrupt and straightforward. However, that is part of open communication: being honest whether you do or don’t feel like it.

4. Emphasize the positive 
We’re somewhat backtracking to communication (everything, remember?), but it’s important to demonstrate your appreciation of the other person. Emphasizing the positive is relatively easy when the attraction sparks fly when compared to a 10, 20, or 30 year marriage. It’s also much easier to do when things are going well. It’s still very important to tell the other person the things that you love about them.

The fact that relationships do get stressful and busy is exactly why you should reiterate your appreciation of your partner. Is your woman beautiful to you no matter what? Tell her such. Does your man work overtime to provide for the family? Tell him how much it’s appreciated.

(Men, don’t forget to tell your partner that they’re beautiful…just don’t.)

5. Anticipate change 
Research has shown that your partner will change in some way every 7-8 years. The change may be drastic or miniscule, but you need to expect to see some sort of difference in the person’s mind or body.

Personal change is a natural process in life, but we often don’t accommodate for these changes in our relationships. For both people, it is important to assess where you’re at and let your partner know what you need. If you don’t communicate this change, trouble often follows.

So just know what you’re thinking and feeling, let your partner know (communication!) and be honest. Understand that change is inevitable, and this applies to two people in love.

6. Learn to compromise 
Two different people sometimes mean two different viewpoints. This is most evident when making any kind of decision – big or small. Sometimes, the two people agree and sometimes not. When there is a disagreement, don’t allow it to become a full-fledged argument. Instead discuss it calmly and rationally.

Be thoughtful and empathetic with the other person’s view on something. Don’t hear their response and immediately become defensive, insisting that you should have the final say. If you are unsure about why your partner thinks the way that they do, just ask questions for clarity.

For smaller decisions, simply take turns allowing each other to decide. If you picked the place to eat dinner, then allow your partner to choose which movie you will see.

7. Apologize when you’re wrong 
We all make mistakes in a relationship, but part of making a relationship last is willingness to admit these mistakes. If you committed a mistake, simply apologize to your partner. Being stubborn and insisting that you were right when you were clearly wrong is much worse than the blunder itself.

Further, it’s not enough to mumble “I’m sorry…” while your partner is walking away. Sincerity and eye contact are important elements to any apology. Forego your pride and state your apology with meaning.

Also, learn to accept each other’s apology. Stubbornness can also be present on the recipient’s side; so if your partner is sincerely apologetic, accept the words with sincerity and move on.

8. Don’t give up 
Resiliency is important to making a relationship last. You may incorporate all of the above elements, but if you aren’t steadfast in your relationship it risks failure. Make the commitment to each other to do what you can to stick it out through the difficult times.

No relationship is perfect. It doesn’t matter how great a relationship appears from the outside, there are always going to be trials. It’s part of sharing a life with a person that is different in some way.

A long-term relationship is beautiful, but it isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be easy; it’s supposed to be overwhelmingly worthwhile. Hopefully this article will make your current and future relationships more beautiful and long-lasting.


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